Ever said I Love You then get ghosted? It hurts terribly.
I honestly fell for this guy. He was my version of a perfect gentleman. Smelled amazing, very gentle and caring. We all have things going on in our lives, good or not but most especially those that kept us up all night. He was the good kind. The one you´d think about before drifting off to a peaceful sleep. That single train of thought that creeps into your mind when you are trying to get a break from a stressful job, and Just like that you are pulled into a minutes long session of day dreaming.
How I actually fell for this guy? I don´t know exactly. Maybe it was the way he kissed me or held me in his arms. Or how he was not afraid to be open and vulnerable with me and let me in. Or was it just a game? Some twisted mind control? I must admit, I never saw it coming. Honestly no one does.
We spent one weekend together. It was beautiful. When I went over that Friday night, I felt complete. We would kiss any chance we could. In the kitchen, by the corridor even when I was on a call he´d come looking for me just to feel my lips. I would snuggle next to him on the coach and listen to him talk so passionately about anything that was on his mind. Football, politics, business or music. We loved the same genre in music, it was refreshing.
We stayed up late that Friday night, sharing one of his favorite drinks. I can´t recall what exactly we were talking about at that moment, but we ended up making love on his living room floor. It was passionate and quite wonderful. He was on top and as I looked into his eyes, I said the three words. He smiled and gave me a deep passionate kiss. Laying on our backs afterwards, we joked and laughed some more and he said, “I don´t remember the last time I was this happy. You make me happy.”
In all my few years in the dating arena, I have never had a man say that to me before. Coming from him and with all those emotions going on in my brain, it felt really nice. We continued seeing each other a few more times then there was silence. Heartbreaking silence.
I have questioned myself a lot since then, wondering if that was all it was meant to be. Either way I am grateful, to him and myself for the wonderful moments we shared.